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Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Will you hate your own children?

Sorry for my long absentees. I'm still around. Just that some things happened in real life and made me thinking a lot recently.

A friend of mine told me he is depressed. He lost count of how many times; his parents mentioned that they hate him. I'm shock to hear this from him. He's just 14 years old. An American. If not mistaken, his father works for the army. Not quite sure what his mom is doing. He has an elder brother, 1 year older than him. I'm not sure what made his parents say that to him. To me, he's a smart kid. I get to know him from online games. I know his elder brother too. Both are helpful, generous kind of people. I know another guy (from online game too), 27 years old, Australian, having depression too. Same reason - due to parents. He has depression since quite a number of years back, at early twenties. His parents did something that made him have to hide from the people around him. He moved to another town eventually. Due to depression, he can't work. He has no much friend in real life too. He wishes to have accompaniment. But he thinks girls won't want to go out with him. I'm not too sure how he can survive living without going to work. He's helpful. But he's moody and sensitive too.

Well, I really cannot imagine, what can the child have done to make the parents hate them? No matter how naughty are Lynn and Hao, the angry I am, but I'm just getting angry. I don't hate them. Alright, maybe sometimes I will feel like strangulate them to death. Lol. But it is relating to the actions that they have done, not the emotion side that I hate them. To me,
"Hate" is a very strong word. And we should not simply use it. I believe, if you don't want a child, then should not make them come to this world. Whether it is being intended or accident, once you have decided to bring them into this world, you have to responsible for their well being. We should raise them well, educate them, teach them, guide them, protect them, and not hurt them, hate them. That is not something a parent should do. Lots of time, because of them, I have to reconsider my decision and my actions.

Well, this is just my two cents. I'm not the
parents of my two friends above. Obviously I don't know what has happened and why their parents are doing so, and I definitely not in the position to judge them. I just wish my two friends there, able to let go, move forward and be happy for the remaining of their life. They are stil very young, aren't they?

10 comments:

reanaclaire said...

it is kind of sad when i hear about this parent/child relationship turned sour.. as parents, we r the ones who brought them into this world and it is our responsibility to upbring them to the best that we could. Along the way, we might fail but as parents, we should not be too ego to admit our mistakes too.. and on the other hand, as children, they also should respect their parents ..

it is a two way traffic for both parents and child..

cheeyee said...

Claire - Yeah, you are right. It's a two way traffic for both parents and child.

little prince's mummy said...

Yeah, fully agree with you! No matter what a child did, the word 'hate' is too much for them...

cleffairy said...

*sigh* I am not sure how to respond to this article, Cheeyee. It touches something deep inside of me. =( While I won't say I hate my boy...I can honestly say that loving him is not the easiest to do at the moment. I'm the worst mum in the entire universe... that's all I can say.

cheeyee said...

Little prince's mummy - Sigh, I wonder if they know what they have done to their child.

Cleffairy - Not loving <> hate. You probably just not yet find the other good side about Adrian that made you able to love him more.

As for me, I want to make sure, I won't make Lynn feels depressed also. She's a sensitive child.

Alice Law said...

Parenting is such an art, it's so complicated!
Parents always try their best to "love" their children, and children are trying hard to "make" their parents to love them more... and things normally didn't turn out the way both parties wanted!
I personally reckon it would be the cummnication break down that cause such misunderstanding between these strong bonds!

BroccoliGinger said...

.... what a sad thing to hear/see.. I pity the children, how can their parents hate them? I am agree with you, we bring them to this world, it's our RESPONSIBILITY. I guess, what the children can do is love their parents more. Only love can resolve hatred.

Oliveoylz said...

I sincerely hope your friend finds happiness and peace with himself very soon...It must be difficult for him...Every child has a basic right to unconditional love from his/her parents...sadly, this does not always hold true...

Anonymous said...

I recently have had a child and have been wondering if I too will end up hating my child. I was adopted at birth and my parents then had a biological child when I was 3. Since they are Caucasian and I am native American they have told me that I'm an ill fit for the family and they hate me for it. Now they hate my daughter as well, even though her father is white. Since I am a collegestudent living at home they routeinely tell me how muchthey hate me and how I should have either gotten an abortion or put my poor baby up for adoption. It hurts when your parents hate you. It's worse when they hate your children.

Wonderful Life said...

kids sometime may drive us up to the wall... but no matter how bad/wrong a kid has done, he/she is still our child... own flesh and blood!

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