Thursday, December 24, 2009
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
May year 2010 is a better year for everyone!
My family does not celebrate Christmas. But we will be going out for Japanese buffet with my parents and my brother family for lunch tomorrow. And meeting up my MIL and my BIL family on Saturday. So it will be quite a busy weekend. For those who are not celebrating Christmas, Happy Holiday!
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
I still can remember Hao was not giving much cooperation that day. Crying on and off, especially when I got to get up to get my hair washed at the basin on the other side of the saloon. Hao started to cry when he could not see me. And other people in the shop was trying to play with him to make him stop crying. Same thing happened when I got to take Lynn to the toilet. Due to the long hours there, I could not spare anymore time for the hair treatment. So I went back there the next day, alone without the kids. Just to get the hair treatment done after the perm.
Since then, I never go hair saloon anymore. Luckily I got long hair, so I don't need to trim it frequently. But next year is approaching, I would like to get my hair cut before the new year. It's one year already! Hope no complain from the hair stylist. :P But I don't think I will take 2 kids with me this time. Probably will just bring Lynn with me to have some "girls" time and I can take her for shopping after that. :)
Monday, November 23, 2009
Me: Lynn, what do you want to drink?
Lynn: I want the PINK color drink.
Ha...Syrup bandung again.
Lynn needs a new pair of shoe.
Lynn: Mama Lynn need new shoe.
Me: Yes we will go buy new shoe for you.
Lynn: Mama, I want PINK color shoe. I want PINK color shoe.
Time to bathe the kids. I ask Lynn to take her own clothes from the drawer.
Lynn: Mama, I want to wear this PINK color panties.
I went for a massage session. Hubby was choosing which DVD to watch with the kids.
Papa: Lynn, we watch Kung Fun Panda ok?
Papa want to watch Kung Fu Panda.
Lynn: No I don't want. I want this PINK color one.
Pointing at the DVD with pink color picture. Pink again.... Papa was shaking his head. Hahaha!
Basically, it is easy to buy or get anything for Lynn - anything PINK is good and she will sure say yes. But, it is also make the buying difficult. We wanted to buy the new shoe for her some time ago. But don't have pink color shoe that is her size! Got another good design that fit her, but no pink color and she does not want it. We did not buy at the end worry that she may refuse to wear it.
When Lynn was much younger, I bought her quite a lots of pink color clothes. But this is because most of the baby girls clothes out there are pink color! Not that I want everything in pink. Not sure if it is because of this that made her like pink? But back when I was pregnant with her too, I remembered I kind of like to wear pink also. So is she born to like pink color? *Shrug*
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Saw some old pic of Lynn the other day when I do some clean up on the folders of my pc.
The yellow cap is actually belongs to me when I was a baby…. my mom kept it so well!
Thursday, November 12, 2009
In July, I talked about Lynn started go diaper-less at night. Since about 2-3 weeks back, I stop waking up Lynn in the middle of the night to ask her to go toilet. Why? This is because when I woke her up, she refused to go toilet! She will tell me she went to toilet already and she just wants to continue sleeping. Previously, I will insist she has to go, because if not very high chance she will wet her bed. And if she wet her bed, in the morning I will tease her.
Me: Eee... Lynn chou chou (smelly).
Lynn: Then mama wash the bed sheet... no more chou chou
Wah so smart, know to tell me to wash bed sheet some more.
Me: Er... don't want to wash the bed sheet. Let you chou chou. Mama asks you to go toilet, you don't want. So now chou chou.
Lynn: Mama wash the bed sheet la.
Begging me some more, hahaha!
Me: No. Lynn should go toilet and not wet the bed, make the bed chou chou.
Insist to her that I'm not going to wash the bed sheet just because she wet the bed.
Not sure if this works? Or she really has grown up? Or could be both? Since 2-3 weeks back, when she refused to go toilet, I let her be. And guess what? No chou chou in the morning! For the next few days, I continued to wake her up but she always gives me same answer "I go toilet already" and refused to go. And the next morning, same thing! And first thing after she wake up, she will visit the toilet. :) So since then, I stop waking her up in the middle of the night. She can have better sleep through the night too.
Am I happy? Of course! Except her bad habit of picky eating and thumb sucking, she's easy. Never thought I can complete the night toilet training in about half year time. Any tips? Not much. I do give her rewards when she keeps the bed dry for a period of time and that make her happy. But one thing for sure is I consistently wake her up every night to go toilet. And consistently tell her that, must pee in the toilet and not on the bed, and don't pee when sleeping. I hope next time when it's Hao's turn... it is also as smooth as Lynn. *Keep my fingers crossed*
Friday, October 30, 2009
After few months of unsatisfactory weight gained on Hao, I asked the paed what I can do during one of the check-up appointment. The paed first asked about Hao's diet, she then recommended me to replace one milk serving with semi-solid food. And on top of that, give him those food with higher fat, like butter, cheese, olive oil. Very interesting thing is Hao was weight 8.8kg and height 77cm at 1 year old, exactly same as Lynn! But don't forget Lynn was born 1kg less than Hao.
Soon after Hao turned 1 year old, I replaced his 2nd morning milk with baby cereal (previously I used to give him baby cereal during weekend at home, but not for weekdays. So now extended to weekdays): -
7am Morning milk at home, from mama ^_^
10am Baby cereal
8pm Some rice and food, from our dinner
10pm Last feeding of milk, from mama ^_^
7am Morning milk at home, from mama ^_^
10am Bread with butter and cheese, and some biscuit
12pm Baby cereal
3pm Another milk from mama before taking afternoon nap ^_^
8pm Some rice and food, from our dinner
10pm Last feeding of milk, from mama ^_^
After 4 months, we noticed his face become rounder and heavier when I carry him (alright, must remind myself to post some recent photo of him. :D) Yesterday Hao was having some fever, so I took him to the doctor and managed to weight him. He has gained about 1.4kg and finally hitting 10.2kg at 16th month. Not sure if this is a good weight gain (I hope so) but as long as his weight is increasing I feel happy and relief. :)
Thursday, October 29, 2009
I used to order Roti banana or Roti telur for her. Banana and egg are her favorite. But after her papa has given her Roti Sardin, she started asking for it almost every week. So now our dinner venue every Thu will be mamak, with Roti sardin as our dinner menu. And her favorite drink? The so-called Pink color drink by her - syrup bandung. :) Since 2 weeks back, Lynn started to ask for ice cream during dinner. So added one more item to her dinner menu - ice cream. She will share it with Hao. As for Hao, he will take whatever we give him.
The people working at the mamak, are very friendly. Maybe they see our faces every week, they like to play with Lynn and Hao whenever they saw them. When they walk past, they like to touch them, play with them. When we make payment, they normally will treat the kids with some sweets, which also another reason why Lynn likes to eat there. At one time, it was raining heavily while we were halfway eating. We had no umbrella with us. One of the people from the shop like can read our mind, lend us an umbrella, without us asking for it.
Besides the friendliness, the food taste good and reasonable price, make us a regular customer there. One time we tried another mamak restaurant over the other end of the shop lot, the quality is terrible. For the same amount that we are paying, I can see only one thin layer of the sardin fish in their roti sardin which I can hardly taste it, not to mention the small serving size. Hubby ordered maggie goreng, where the noodle was tough, not being cooked long enough. Just that one time only, we never go back that mamak restaurant again. We go back to our usual eating place. :)
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Usually when I was using my pc, Hao will play with Lynn on the same room with me. Sometimes when Hao get bored of playing and wants to have my attention, he will come near me, standing next to my chair and asking me to pick him up. Before I manage to pick up Hao, Lynn will come over and ask for some attention from me too! Sometimes she may try to find more space to get closer to me, and thus squeezing Hao and Hao will complain about it! Hahahaha! And if I pick up Hao, and put him sitting on my lap. Lynn will try to climb up the chair and sit on my lap too! :D Similarly, if Lynn was the one next to my chair and I was talking to her, Hao will come over and try to ask for my attention too!
Am I enjoying this? Indeed. Do I sound evil? Hehehe.. Just trying to enjoy being the center of attention from the children. Who knows, when will be the day where they no longer fight for me. :P
Monday, October 19, 2009
Lynn: Papa, I want to watch the aunty singing.
LOL She thought MJ is an aunty, simply because MJ's hair was about shoulder length and he tied it up during the concert!
Papa: That one is not aunty. He's an uncle.
OK, so papa turned on the TV and played the MJ DVD.
Lynn: Papa, you see the uncle is wearing diaper also!
LMAO in that concert, MJ was wearing a gold color bodysuit, with a short jacket on top of it and a pair of black pants. So at first glance, he looked like "Superman" style - wearing the panty outside. Only in the next song where he had removed his jacket, then only I realized he's wearing a bodysuit. :)
I was preparing meal at the kitchen behind and Lynn was watching MJ concert at the living room. Hao watched for a while and then he came to the kitchen to look for me. I put him sitting on a kids stool watching me preparing the food. After a while, I heard MJ was singing one of his signature songs - Black and White. And shortly after that, I saw Hao got up from the stool, and move towards the living room, and watched MJ singing Black and White! Even a one year old kid is attracted by him! Hahahaha!
So now you know why I don't need Astro anymore as just one MJ Concert DVD is enough. :)
Monday, October 5, 2009
Whether or not the child you took this quiz for was actually the first child born into your family, she definitely has a Firstborn Personality. What does that mean? Well, even though she's a natural born leader, she'll want to uphold the status quo, and continue to do things the way she sees her parents doing them. Typically, the firstborn child will not be the family rebel. She will not necessarily try to shake things up. The firstborn child thrives in the glow of all the attention she receives in being the first and only child of the family, for at least a little while - until the younger sibling come along. Being the firstborn, your child has some insight into her parents' personalities; therefore, she absorbs much of their belief system and attempts to impart that to her younger siblings. When the other siblings come along, you can expect your firstborn child (or your child with the firstborn personality) to be an eager little helper and occasional babysitter (where she gets to boss the younger kids around!) The role the firstborn child fulfills enables them to become capable, ambitious, hard-working adults - albeit a bit neurotic.
This is quite true actually. Lynn likes to play the big sister role and boss Hao around. :D She will scold Hao what is the things he cannot do. She knows what food not to be given to Hao. She will play the spy role and reports to me what Hao has done. Whatever food that I give to Hao, she wants her share too. And not only that, she also want to take over my job to help feeding Hao on cereal and porridge. Unfortunately she cant do it well yet and ends up I got to do more cleaning.
Not sure if good or not for her to boss around Hao. At home, she also likes to play the pretend game where she was the "teacher" at school, ordering her friends to do this and that. But I do tell Lynn not to shout at Hao. This is papa and mama's job, not her job. I don't want Hao to have a sister who always scolds him around. In terms of food, Lynn is very generous and she does not mind to share her food with any of us. However when come to toys, she is not that generous yet despite we keep on telling her to share. Sometimes she expects Hao listen to her instructions but she does not understand that Hao is still young for it yet. It is nice to see them play together at home but sometimes it is also headache when they started to fight for the toys. Sigh. Lynn is still pretty much jealous with her brother here and still asking lots of attention from us. Still trying my best to make her understand we love them both and each of them has special place in our heart.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
on the Disney Playhouse Channel. But nowadays most of the time she asks for the Baby Einstein DVD instead. I can calculate how many times in a month, we are watching the Astro program by using one hand. :) Since we are not watching, with the price of the subscription is increasing, we have decided to cancel the subscription to save the money for something else. :)
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
A friend of mine told me he is depressed. He lost count of how many times; his parents mentioned that they hate him. I'm shock to hear this from him. He's just 14 years old. An American. If not mistaken, his father works for the army. Not quite sure what his mom is doing. He has an elder brother, 1 year older than him. I'm not sure what made his parents say that to him. To me, he's a smart kid. I get to know him from online games. I know his elder brother too. Both are helpful, generous kind of people. I know another guy (from online game too), 27 years old, Australian, having depression too. Same reason - due to parents. He has depression since quite a number of years back, at early twenties. His parents did something that made him have to hide from the people around him. He moved to another town eventually. Due to depression, he can't work. He has no much friend in real life too. He wishes to have accompaniment. But he thinks girls won't want to go out with him. I'm not too sure how he can survive living without going to work. He's helpful. But he's moody and sensitive too.
Well, I really cannot imagine, what can the child have done to make the parents hate them? No matter how naughty are Lynn and Hao, the angry I am, but I'm just getting angry. I don't hate them. Alright, maybe sometimes I will feel like strangulate them to death. Lol. But it is relating to the actions that they have done, not the emotion side that I hate them. To me,
"Hate" is a very strong word. And we should not simply use it. I believe, if you don't want a child, then should not make them come to this world. Whether it is being intended or accident, once you have decided to bring them into this world, you have to responsible for their well being. We should raise them well, educate them, teach them, guide them, protect them, and not hurt them, hate them. That is not something a parent should do. Lots of time, because of them, I have to reconsider my decision and my actions.
Well, this is just my two cents. I'm not the parents of my two friends above. Obviously I don't know what has happened and why their parents are doing so, and I definitely not in the position to judge them. I just wish my two friends there, able to let go, move forward and be happy for the remaining of their life. They are stil very young, aren't they?
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
her to go down to change the wet pain. We accidentally woke up Hao, who is a light sleeper. Hao was crying there, hoping me will go pick him up. But I was tired, and hoping that he will stop crying after a while and go back to sleep.
After 5-10 minutes, Hao was still crying there on his crib. Hubby got up, went to pick up the boy. He carried Hao to the window, explained to him that it was late at night and everyone was sleeping. After that, he took him for a tour of the house, telling him that everyone was sleeping. Since Hao had been crying for some time, Hubby thought Hao should be feeling thirsty. He gave him some water to drink, and pat him to sleep. I feel relief seeing Hao stopped crying after being picked up by hubby. I feel so warm seeing hubby went to attend the kids so that I can rest. Well, this is not the first time hubby has done so. But if I were the one pick up Hao, I would just bring him to our bed and nurse him to sleep, so that I can just lie down also. I don't think I will have such patient to take him tour around the house, some more thought of he maybe thirsty and get some water for him. :D
Normally when the kids make noise, if one of us getting out of patience, the other one will come "rescue", take over the role and be nice to the kids to stop them from making fuss. Doing so the kids won't feel being rejected by both of us. And the frustrated papa or mama get to breath some fresh air too. We never talk about this before nor have any discussion on this matter. But when things happen, we will automatic react in this way. Of course, there is occasion where both of us get annoyed and act strict to the kids too.
I feel gratitude that hubby did not leave the responsibilities of the kids solely to me. Without his help, I don't think I can handle between kids and housework during weekend. Not to mention I can have some personal time for myself.
My dear, thank you so much!
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
If you ask me any different breastfeeding a toddler compared with breastfeeding a baby? I would say no much, except shorter duration and less frequent. And whether Hao bite me when I nurse him? He did. But not anymore. Just have to teach him not to bite.
What is other family reactions to me still breastfeeding Hao? Well, they are just asking am I still breastfeeding him and that's all. :) And really glad no problem with the people from child care too. The teacher even encourage me when I wean Hao later, switch him to fresh milk instead of formula as fresh milk is better than formula.
I have readjusted his milk time after he has reached 1 years old. Now Hao is on 3 milk servings per day - first time right after he wakes up in the morning, one time in the afternoon around 3pm, and one time right before he goes to bed at night. He will take cereal in the morning tea time around 10am. Then porridge for lunch and dinner. When we are having our dinner, I will give him some of our food too, like rice, soup, fish etc. Whenever we are having food, for sure he will come over and ask for us. He likes cheese and bread, or anything that is soft. Since whenever we are eating, he will get some share too, I seldom need to nurse him outside of the house nowadays.
My favourite position is actually the lying down position. I love to see his facial expression while nursing him. Sometimes after he has stopped, he will look up at me. And when I smile to him, he will either smile back to me, or or give me a big laugh, made me feel so warm and melt my heart. I want to remember this feeling forever. This is the only thing that actually keep me continue nursing him till now, despite still have to express milk during lunch hour. It makes me feel so close to him, makes me feel I'm so important to him. Whenever me and hubby go to pick up the kids, both Lynn and Hao will shout loudly when they see us, as if they are so excited to see us. This is their way of welcoming us. And we are excited to see them too. Nothing is better than seeing a smiling and happy face from your children. :)
Thursday, August 6, 2009
To reward Lynn for her great effort on staying dry at night, I have bought this Minnie Mouse Sticker book for her.
Lynn was so happy to get this from me. Within 15 minutes, she filled up the book with her favourite Mickey mouse and friends, and the Winnie Pooh and friends stickers.
She even wanted to hold the sticker book to sleep.
I’m glad she likes it so much. Hope this will continue motivate her to stay dry at night. Sometimes if she drinks more water or has her milk right before she sleeps, she tends to wet the bed if I did not manage to wake her up earlier to go to the toilet. Some people asking me won’t I feel stressful because whether Lynn is able to stay dry at night, very much depending on me able to wake her to go toilet before she wets the bed. I think it’s worth it. Since she’s the one requested not to wear diaper anymore, I don’t think I should force her to wear it. She just have to learn and I think this is a good chance. I have started telling her to go toilet before mama wake her up. Would like not to depend on me. At the same time I’m also marking down on the calendar when she stays dry at night, and when she wets her bed. She will get a star if she did not wet the bed for the night. Told her that if she can stay dry for at least 5 days a week, I will buy her a new sheet of sticker to her.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Recently, Lynn refuse to wear diaper at night. When we changed diaper for her, she will said she does not want. So I was thinking, is she ready to go diaper less at night? It started one night, hubby let her not wearing diaper to sleep. Surprisingly, she stay dry throughout the night. I was so amazed. The following night, we let her not wearing diaper to sleep too. And she wet the bed that night. So means the night before was just lucky?
She continue to refuse wearing diaper at night. Not too sure what's the reason, whether is wearing diaper making her not comfortable. Anyway, we let her be. And I told her that if she does not want to wear diaper, she has to go to the toilet when mommy wake her up in the middle of the night and she agreed. So starting from that day, I wake her up in the middle of the night to go toilet.
First night when I woke her up to go toilet, guess what? She cried. And after she came out from the toilet, she told me she wanted to wear diaper and insisted on wearing the diaper. Kids! Hahahaha. But the following night, when I get ready her to go to bed, she refused to wear diaper to sleep! Hehehe. So she continues not wearing diaper to sleep, and I continue waking her up every night to go toilet. Each time after she went to the toilet (despite she was making fuss about it), I will praise her. Each morning, if she did not wet the bed, I will praise her too. But even if she wet the bed, I won't scold her but will gently remind her she suppose to go toilet. So now, I don't have much problem getting her to go toilet at night. She will also listen to me, to go toilet right before she goes to bed.
It's almost 2 weeks she does not wear diaper to sleep at night. Sometimes she wet the bed before I woke her up. Sometimes she stays dry until morning without the mid night toilet call. So it depends what time she sleeps and how much water she has taken before going to bed. It also happened once that she woke up herself in the middle of the night to go toilet. I'm not sure if this is consider as successful toilet training? But I'm definitely very happy with her progress. Dare not to say too loud, but I feel easy actually as the initiation is from her.
Lynn - never stop surprise us with her urge to learn new things and trying to be independent. And since the initiation is from her, make the training and learning process become much easier and more effective. And she feels motivated too.
This is what I learn: -
1. Do not force the child to learn. Look for the signs of readiness. We can test if they are ready for it.
2. No one is perfect at first try. If the child cannot do it, don't scold or blame them. Instead, encourage them to continue trying. Learning is a process, is not an overnight thing.
3. If the child shows signs of readiness, we should move on with the child and not holding back just because the child may create mess. No one is born without the need to learn.
4. Praise the child even though it's just a small achievement. Let the child feel motivated and proud of herself.
Now, I'm waiting for the day when I do not need to wake her up in the middle of the night to go toilet. :)
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
I was breastfeeding Lynn (she was 9 months old at that time) in a place near Chinatown in Singapore. Oh I miss this so much!
The World Breastfeeding Week is from 1 - 7 August 2009. The Penang mother to mother support group is holding a mass gathering of breastfeeding moms on 1st Aug. Click here for more info. During that event they will be holding a 1-minute Simultaneous Breastfeeding and the number of moms participating nationally will be given to the press in an effort to promote breastfeeding.
Some of us here may not be from Penang. However if you are able to breastfeed at 10.30am in unity with other moms before the event finishes, please send your name, contact number and email contact to Christine at firstname.lastname@example.org by Sat 25th July. Christine from Mamalink will be collecting the details and pass over to Connie (organiser in Penang) as she will be holding a press conference after that. Or if you are from Kajang area, Susuibu will be holding a similar event in Kajang on 9th Aug at Dewan Bandaran MPKJ from 8.30am to 1.30pm
For those of you who are breastfeeding, come let's put our hands together to promote breastfeeding!
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Thursday, July 9, 2009
I really don’t know what’s wrong with Lynn nowadays. She is such a picky eater. She chooses type of food, especially vegetable to eat. Luckily she’s not rejecting vegetable at all. But recently somehow, she is so slow when come to finish her food. She is the first one to eat but the last one who leaves the dining table. If no one else is sitting there with her, she will rather don’t want to finish her food at all. Sigh… this is making me worry. We will ask what she wants to eat, either rice or noodle. She will tell what she wants. But after we get the food for her, after 2-3 spoons, she will tell me she does not want to eat anymore. So now I have to be very firm with her and insist that she has to finish the food that she asks for. Or sometimes she will ask for more meat, I will want her to eat more rice before I give her the meat. If not, she will leave the rice un-touch and finish all the meat. :( She has been losing weight. That day I checked from the internet she’s actually underweight for her height. She’s only about 13kg with her height 100cm (if I remember correctly). I checked with the teacher at the playschool, the teacher said she’s OK with the food. Lynn told me she’s the last one who finishes the food amongst all kids. We are thinking of not letting her take the snack (there is snack time at 4.30pm, where all kids are given milk and bread) hoping that she will take the proper meal. I have started to reject giving her any sweets unless she takes more food during meal time. I hope this is just a phase and she will outgrow of it soon.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
We did a big celebration when Lynn was 1 year old, but this time round for Hao, we decided to hold just a simple celebration within the family members. I booked a private room in a Chinese restaurant, with karaoke facility. Simple, and yet fun and happy. The food was good. Since we had the whole room, the kids get to run around playing with the balloons. Hao was very happy. Laughing all the time. He even try to sing along with us! Lol He was so cute with those cooing sounds. :D Aww… I’m going to miss him as a baby. Lynn was very good girl too. Eating by herself. No throwing tantrum. Everyone, including the kids were having a good time.
The birthday boy was showing cheeky look. :)
Hao loves the balloon so much! Keep on playing and chasing the balloon on the floor. :)
Yummy durian cake sponsored by my SIL. Everyone loves it!
Lynn want to sing too! She snatched away the mic from me. :P
Hao at 1 year old
- Weight: 8.8kg
- Height: 77cm
- Have 6 teeth – 4 upper teeth and 2 bottom teeth.
- Can stand and walk with support.
- Crawl and cruising around very well.
- Crawl up and down the staircase.
- Could say mum-mum, nen-nen, Mama, Papa, I also heard something like jie jie before, and last night hubby heard him saying ball while he was playing a ball.
- Has been eating a lot. 1 bowl is no longer enough for him.
- Cant wait for food. Will not give me a peace when we are eating even though I had fed him with his porridge or milk earlier.
- Prefer more plain food. Not in favour of something very sweet.
- Likes people sing to him. Whenever he’s making noise, if you start singing he will stop and look at you attentively. Sometimes he will even clap his hand for you. :D
Monday, July 6, 2009
Please click to read this… it’s short and worth reading.
Once upon a time (as recent as a moment ago), there was a Queen who gave birth to a Princess. What made her a Queen was that her partner called her one, and what made their daughter a Princess was because they thought her so. Aside from the nicknames, the Queen and the Princess were not unlike any other woman or baby girl. Click here to read the rest of the story.
Come across this from Tweeter and I just love it…… I would say this is the best story I have come across so far. :)
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Come across a forum few days ago, a mom started a topic talking about she had to give formula to her newborn, as the baby was not growing well. The baby is losing quite a bit of weight in the first week and not gaining much weight since then. The mother was breastfeeding the baby. The paed recommended to add formula to help the baby gained weight. The mom thinks she made the right choice of giving the baby formula and she should not feel bad about not able to fully breastfeed the baby.
From the reply, majority of the moms agreed with her and think that we should not too worry about not able to breastfeed. While there were few mothers think that most mothers gave up breastfeeding easily and formula milk should be given only when there is a real need. Therefore, these two groups of mother were debating there.
I think we just have to go with what we think is the best at that time. I’m sure if given a choice, most mothers would like to breastfeed their own babies if possible. However when they could not do so, we should not look down at them. Breastfeeding is not an easy journey, without proper guidance, encouragement and support from people around us. What I dislike most, is the people around the mother interfere with her choice. They will say things like breast milk is not good, too watery and baby get hungry too soon; not every mother can produce breast milk bla bla bla.
These people have very negative mindset about breastfeeding and they do not know any knowledge on breastfeeding. They don’t know that the beauty of the breast milk is its composition will change according to the baby’s need. Breast milk composition also varies by diet as well. Some women may produce more calorie-dense milk more than others. For those mommies who produce fewer calories on breast milk will need to nurse their babies more frequently. This is where the old people will always comment why the baby get hungry so soon, must be not getting enough milk from the mother that kind of talk. Well yes, baby on breast milk tends to get hungry fast. Why? This is because breast milk is easier to digest compared to formula milk. And what makes the breast milk easier to digest? It's the protein. There are two classes of proteins in milk — the caseins and the wheys. Caseins turn into clots or curds in the stomach. The wheys remain liquid and are easier to digest. And there are about 60% of the proteins in breast milk are whey, while most baby formula milk are high in casein.
If the mother is willing to try breastfeeding her baby, or wanted to breastfeed her baby, the people around her, especially the family members should feel happy and give encouragement to show support. I have witnessed how the negative statements and mindset, has made the mother feel so stressful and believe herself she does not have enough milk to breast feed, her milk is not good enough as the baby keep on crying for milk etc. When I was breastfeeding Hao for the first 2 months, he could cry for milk for every one hour. It is absolutely normal for a newborn to cry for milk more frequently. When Hao was 2 months old, slowly the interval become about 2 hours. Until now, his milk interval is still every 2 hours. Therefore, because of the discouragement from the family members, the mother was so stressful that she could hardly produce breast milk and given up breastfeeding the baby, just after about 1 week the baby was born. They do not understand, breast milk will not produce by itself, unless you are really gifted with lots of breast milk. We need stimulation, the baby needs to suck to send signal to the brain for the body to produce the breast milk. The more stimulation we get, the more breast milk we could produce for the baby. Despite lots of effort being done to create awareness to everyone that breast milk is the best for the baby but there are still some people especially the older generation think that formula milk is better. I think it’s difficult to change their mindset. Nevertheless, I’m glad that both my parents and my in-law are very supportive on my choice wanted to breastfeed both my children. They do believe that breast milk is the best for the baby. Of course not to mention hubby too. Support from family members is important on the success of breastfeeding.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Just two years after our marriage, hubby brought up the idea of asking Mother to move from the rural hometown and spend her remaining years with us.
Hubby's father passed away while he was still very young. Mother endured much hardship and struggled all on her own to provide for him, see him through to a university degree.
You could say that she suffered a great deal and did everything you could expect of a woman to bring hubby to where he is today.
I immediately agreed and started packing the spare room, which has a balcony facing the South to let her enjoy the sunshine and plant greenery.
Hubby stood in the bright room, and suddenly just picked me up and started spinning round and round. As I begged him to put me down, he said: "Lets go fetch mother."
Hubby is tall and big sized and I love to test on his chest and enjoy the feeling that he could pick me up at any moment put the tiny me into his pockets.
Whenever we have an argument and both refuses to back down, he would pick me up and spin me over his head continuously until I surrender and beg for mercy. I became addicted to this kind of panic-joy feeling.
Mother brought along her countryside habits and lifestyle with her. For example; I am so used to buying flowers to decorate the living room, she could not stand it and would comment: "I do not know how you young people spend your money, why do you buy flowers for? You also can't eat flowers!" I smiled and said: "Mum, with flowers in the house, our mood will also become better." Mother continues to grumble away, and hubby smiled: "Mum, this is a city-people's habit; slowly you will get use to it."
Mother stopped saying anything. But every time thereafter, whenever came home with flowers, she would ask me how much it costs. I told her and she would shake her head and express displeasure. Sometimes, when I come home with lots of shopping bags, she would ask each and every item how much they cost, I would tell her honestly and she would get even more upset about it. Hubby playfully pinched my nose and said: "You little fool, just don't tell her the full price of everything would solve it."
There begins the friction to our otherwise happy lifestyle.
Mother hates it most when hubby wakes up early to prepare the breakfast. In your view, how could the man of the house cook for the wife? At the breakfast table, mother facial expression is always like the dark clouds before a thunderstorm and I would pretend not to notice. She would use her chopsticks and make a lot of noise with it as her silent protest.
As I am a dance teacher in the Children's Palace and am exhausted from along day of dancing around, I do not wish to give up the luxury of that additional few minutes in the comfort of my bed and hence I turned a deaf ear to all the protest mother makes. From time to time, mother would help out with some housework, but soon her help created additional work for me. For example: she would keep all kinds of plastic bags accumulating them so that she sell them later on, and resulted in our house being filled with all the trash bags; she would scrimp on dish washing detergent when helping to wash the dishes and so as not to hurt her feelings, I would quietly wash them again.
One day, late at night, mother saw me quietly washing the dishes, and "Bam" she slams her bedroom door and cried very loudly in her room. Hubby was placed in a difficult position, and after that, he did not speak to me for that entire night. I pretended to be a spoilt child, tried acting cute, but he totally ignored me.... I got mad and asked him: "What did I do wrong?" Hubby stared at me and said: "Can't you just give in to her once? We couldn't possibly die eating from a bowl however unclean it is, right?" After that incident, for a long period of time, mother did not speak to me and you can feel that there is a very awkward feeling hanging in the house. During that period of cold war, hubby was caught in dilemma as to who to please.
In order to stop her son from having to prepare breakfast, mother took on the "all important" task of preparing breakfast without any prompting. At the breakfast table, mother would look at hubby happily eating his breakfast and cast that reprimanding stare at me for having failed to perform my duty as a wife. To avoid the embarrassing breakfast situation, I resorted to buying my own breakfast on my way to work. That night, while in bed, hubby was a little upset and asked me: "LD, is it because you think that mum's cooking is not clean that's why you chose not to eat at home?" He then turned his back on me and left me alone in tears as feeling of unfairness overwhelmed me. After some time, hubby sighed: "LD, just for me, can you have breakfast at home?" I am left with no choice but to return to the breakfast table.
The next morning, I was having porridge prepared by mother and I felt a sudden churn in my stomach and everything inside seem to be rushing up my throat. I tried to suppress the urge to throw up but I could not. I threw down the bowl, rushed into the washroom, and vomited everything out. Just as I was catching my breath, I saw mother crying and grumbling very loudly in her dialect, hubby was standing at the washroom doorway staring at me with fire burning in his eyes.. I opened my mouth but no words came out of it, I really did not mean it.
We had our very first big fight that day; mother took a look at us, then stood up and slowly made her way out of the house. Hubby gave me a final stare in the eye and followed mother down the stairs. For three days, hubby did not return home, not even a phone call. I was so furious, since mother arrived; I had been trying my best and putting up with her, what else do you want me to do? For no reason, I keep having the feeling to throw up and I simply have not appetite for food, coupled with all the events happening at home, I was at then low point in my life.
Finally, a colleague said: "LD, you look terrible; you should go and see a doctor." The doctor confirmed that I am pregnant.
Now it became clear to me why I threw up that fateful morning, a sense of sadness floated through that otherwise happy news. Why didn't hubby, and mother who had been through this before, thought of the possibility of this being the reason that day? At the hospital entrance, I saw my hubby standing there. It had only been three days, but he looked haggard. I had wanted to turn and leave, but one look at him and my heart soften, I couldn't resist and called out to him. He followed my voice and finally found me but he pretended that he doesn't know me; he has that disgusted look in his eyes that cut right through my heart. I told myself not to look at him anymore, and hail a cab. At that moment, I have such a strong urge inside me to shout to my hubby: "Darling, I am having your baby!" and have him lift me up and spin me around in circles of joy. What I wanted didn't happen and as I sat in the cab, my tears started rolling down. Why? Why our love couldn't even withstand the test of one fight?
Back home, I lay on the bed thinking about my hubby, and the disgusted look in his eyes. I cried and wet the corner of the blanket. That night, sound of the drawers opening woke me up. I switched on the lights and I saw hubby with tears rolling down his face. He was removing the money. I stared at him in silence; he ignored me, took the bank deposit book and some money and left the house. Maybe he really intends to leave me for good. What a rational man, so clear-cut in love and money matters. I gave a few dried laugh and tears starting streaming down again. The next day, I did not go to work. I wanted to clear this out and have a good talk with hubby. I reached his office and his secretary gave me a weird look and said: "Mr. Tan's mother had a traffic accident and is now in the hospital."
I stood there in shock. I rushed to the hospital and by the time I found hubby, mother had already passed away. Hubby did not look at me, his face was expressionless. I looked at mother's pale white and thin face and I couldn't control the tears in my eyes. My god, how could this happen? Throughout the funeral, hubby did not say a single word to me, with only the occasional disgusted stare at me. I only managed to find out brief facts about the accident from other people. That day, after mother left the house, she walked in dazed toward the bus stop, apparently intending to go back to her old house back in the countryside. As hubby ran after her, she tried to walk faster and as she tried to cross the street, a public bus came and hit her...I finally understood how much hubby must hate me, if I had not thrown up that morning, if we had not quarreled, if....In his heart, I am indirectly the killer of his mother.
Hubby moved into mother's room and came home every night with a strong liquor smell on him. And me, I am buried under the guilt and self-pity and could hardly breathe. I wanted to explain to him, tell him that we are going to have our baby soon, but each time, I saw the dead look in his eyes, all the words I have at the brink of my mouth just fell back in. I had rather he hit me real hard or give me a big and thorough scolding though none of these events happening had been my fault at all.
Many days of suffocating silence went by and as the days went by, hubby came home later and later. The deadlock between us continues, we were living together like strangers who don't know each other. I am like the dead knot in his heart.
One day, I passed by a western restaurant, looking into the glass window, I saw hubby and a girl sitting facing each other and he very lightly brushed her hair for her, I understood what it meant. After recovering from that moment of shock, I entered the restaurant, stood in front of my hubby and stared hard at him, not a tear in my eyes. I have nothing to say to him, and there is no need to say anything. The girl looked at me, looks at hubby, stands up and wanted to go, hubby stretched out his hand and stopped her. He stared back at me,challenging me. I can only hear my slow heart beat, beating, one by one as if at the brink of death. I eventually backed down, if I had stood that any longer, I will collapse together with the baby inside me.
That night, he did not come home; he had chosen to use that as a way to indicate to me: Following mother's death so did our love for each other.
He did not come home anymore after that. Sometimes, when I returned home from work, I can tell that the cupboard had been touched - he had returned to take some of his stuff. I no longer wish to call him; the initial desire to explain everything to him vanished. I lived alone; I go for my medical checkups alone, my heart breaks again and again every time I see a guy carefully helping his wife through the physical examination. My office colleagues hinted to me to consider aborting the baby, I told them No, I will not.. I insisted on having to this baby, perhaps it is my way of repaying mother for causing her death. One day, I came home and I saw hubby sitting in the living room. The whole house was filled with cigarette smoke. On the coffee table, there was this piece of paper. I know what it is all about without even looking at it. In the two months plus of living alone, I have gradually learned to find peace within myself. I looked at him, removed my hat and said: "You wait a while, I will sign." He looked at me, mixed feelings in his eyes, just like mine.
As I hang up my coat, I keep repeating to myself "You cannot cry, you cannot cry...." my eyes hurt terribly, but I refused to let tears come out from there. After I hung up my coat, hubby's eyes stared fixed at my bulging tummy. I smiled, walked over to the coffee table and pulled the paper towards me. Without even looking at what it says, I signed my name on it and pushed the paper to him. "LD, are you pregnant?"
Since mother's accident, this is the first time he spoke to me. I could not control my tears any further and they fell like raindrops. I said: "Yes, but its ok, you can leave now." He did not go. In the dark, we sat, facing each other. Hubby slowly moved over me, his tears wet the blanket. In my heart, everything seems so far away, so far that even if I sprint, I could never reach them. I cannot remember how many times he repeated "sorry" to me. I had originally thought that I would forgive him, but now I can't. In the western restaurant, in front of that girl, that cold look in his eyes, I will never forget, ever. We have drawn such deep scars in each other's heart. For me, it's unintentional; for him, totally intentional. I had been waiting for this moment of reconciliation, but I realized now, what had gone past is gone forever and could not repeated.
Other than the thought of the baby inside me that would bring some warmth to my heart, I am totally cold towards him, I no longer eat anything he buys for me, I don't take any presents from him and I stopped talking to him. From the moment I signed on that piece of paper, marriage and love had vanished from my heart. Sometimes, hubby will try to come into the bedroom, but when he walks in, I will walk out to the living room. He had no choice but to sleep in mother's room. At night, from his room, I can hear light sounds of groaning, I kept quiet. This used to be his trick; last time, whenever I ignore him, he would fake illness and I will surrender and find out what is wrong with him, he would then grab me and laugh. He has forgotten that last time I cared for him and am concerned because there was love, but now, what is there between us? Hubby's groaning came on and off continuing but I continuously ignored him.
Almost everyday, he would buy something for the baby, infant products, children products and books that kids like to read. Bags and bags of it stacked inside his room till it is full. I know he is trying to use this to reach out to me, but I am no longer moved by his actions. He has no choice but to lock himself in his room and I can hear his typing away on his computer keyboard, maybe he is now addicted to web surfing but none of that matters to me anymore. It was sometime towards the end of Spring in the following year, one late night, I screamed because of a sudden stomach pain, hubby came rushing into the room, its like he did not change and sleep, and had been waiting for this moment. He carried me and ran down the stairs, stopped a car, holding my hand very tightly and kept wiping the sweat off my brow, throughout the journey to the hospital. Once we reached the hospital, he carried me and hurried into the delivery suite. Lying on the back of his skinny but warmth body, a thought crossed my mind: In my lifetime, who else would love me as much as he did?
He held the delivery suite door opened and watch me go in; his warm eyes caused me to manage a smile at him despite my contraction pain. Coming out of the delivery room, hubby looked at our son and me, eyes tear with joy and he kept smiling. I reached out and touched his hand.. Hubby looked at me, smiling and then he slowly collapsed onto the floor.
I cried out for him in pain... He smiled, but without opening that tired eyes of his... I had thought that I would never shed any tear for him, but the truth is, I have never felt a deeper pain cutting through my body at that moment. Doctor said that by the time hubby discovered he had liver cancer, it was already in terminal stage and it was a miracle that he managed to last this long. I asked the doctor when he first discovered he had cancer. Doctor said about 5 months ago and consoled me saying: "Prepare for his funeral."
I disregarded the nurse's objection and rushed home, I went into his room and checked his computer, and a suffocating pain hits me. Hubby's cancer was discovered 5 months ago, his groaning was real, and I had thought that... the computer showed over 200 thousand words he wrote for our son:
"Son, just for you, I have persisted, to be able to take a look at you before I fall, is my biggest wish now... I know that in your life, you will have many happiness and maybe some setbacks, if only I can accompany you throughout that journey, how nice would it be. But daddy now no longer has that chance. Daddy has written inside here all the possible difficulties and problems you may encounter during your lifetime, when you meet with these problems, you can refer to daddy's suggestion....
Son, after writing these 200 thousand words, I feel as if I have accompanied you through life journey. To be honest, daddy is very happy. Do love your mother, she has suffered, she is the one who loves you most and also the one who loves me most..."
From play school to primary school, to secondary, university, to work and even in dealing with questions of love, everything big and small was written there.
Hubby has also written a letter for me:
"My dear, to marry you is my biggest happiness, forgive me for the pain I have caused you, forgive me for not telling you my illness, because I want to see you be in a joyful mood waiting for the arrival of our baby...My dear, if you cried, it means that you have forgiven me and I would smile, thank you for loving me...These presents, I'm afraid I cannot give them to our son personally, could you help me to give some of them to him every year, the dates on what to give when are all written on the packaging... "
Going back to the hospital, hubby is still in coma. I brought our son over and place him beside him. I said: "Open your eyes and smile, I want our son to remember being in the warmth of your arms..." He struggled to open his eyes and managed a weak smile. Our son still in his arms was happily waving his tiny hands in the air. I press the button on the camera and the sound of the shutter rang through the air as tears slowly rolled down my face....
A fatal misunderstanding and the person who loves me the most in this world is gone forever... "Cruel misunderstandings one after another disrupted the blissful footsteps to our family. Our original intend of having Mother enjoy some quiet and peaceful moments in her remaining years with us went terribly wrong as destiny's secret is finally revealed at a price, every thing became too late."........
Many people has bad experience and comments about MIL. To me, it could be MIL or any other person. Most important, trust and respect your spouse. The secret to avoiding arguments is loving and respectful communication. If both parties can communicate well, I suppose there is no reason for us to hold back the grudges and anger. And things can be discussed openly and solved. How about you? What have you learn from this story?
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Normally weekend is busy days for me. Busy attending needs and demand from the kids. Lynn will demand for sweets, biscuit, cold drinks etc throughout the whole day as she hardly gets to eat those foods during weekdays. This strict mommy here has a rule that is no sweet and biscuit at night before going to bed as it is bad for the teeth. However, this weekend the house is quiet. My parents wanted to take Lynn to the park on Saturday. So Lynn was staying overnight at their place on Friday night. And the whole weekend Lynn will be with them and my brother family.
Without Lynn around, the house is quiet. No one is shouting or running around. No one is complaining. But still can hear the crying sound. It’s from Hao. :) He’s still with us. He cannot walk by himself yet, and he’s still on breastfeeding. It won’t be easy for my parents to take care of him for long period without me around. Therefore, he did not get to go to the park with his sister.
I took some time in the afternoon, taking Hao along to visit a friend who has just delivered a baby boy mid of last month. So hubby gets some time for himself to do his things that required some thinking process. To me Hao is not difficult to handle, especially now he’s becoming less dependent. He can play by himself there. However, he gets bored faster without his sister around. Then he will come over to me or hubby, looking for someone to play with him. I’m still able to get sometime to do my own thing. That’s why I get to write for a bit, which normally I did not get to do so during weekend.
Hmm… enjoying my quiet and peaceful weekend at home.
Friday, June 5, 2009
It has been one month since we send Hao to the childcare (no playschool for his age). I would say Hao is adopting well there. He eats well and sleeps well. Feeling a little insecure, but he did not cry much. After few days, he feels easy and comfortable to move around the place.
One month is neither long nor short. One more month, Hao will turn one, no longer a baby. I’m going to miss him being a baby. Taking care of him and taking care of Lynn as a baby is different experience and different feeling. My bonding with Lynn has been there since she was born, right after coming out from my stomach. However my bonding with Hao, did not started since he was born. It was after he was born, days by days, months by months, slowly and naturally. I was sad that I could not get him a good nanny like Lynn’s. But I’m glad that he is growing up well in the childcare.
I noticed he is getting happier nowadays. He always shows his sweet smiling face. My dad will go pick up the kids when he is on the way back home from work. Hao loves my dad. Whenever he sees him, for sure he will craw towards him with his happiest face and biggest smile he can give. My parent’s house has many toys. Some are my parents bought for Lynn in the past. Some are my niece’s toy. Therefore, Hao will never get bored there. He is getting more and more curious nowadays and does not get his eyes off from the toys there. At one time, Hao was suspecting having HFMD and my mom helped to take care of him. He refused to sleep at all! Just want to play with the toys. Hahaha! In addition, my mom was so worry that he did not get enough sleep for that day.
He is getting more talkative too. He will mimic the word that we said to him. He loves music and songs. Whenever Lynn sings song, I sing to him, or we play the CD in the car, for sure, he will clap his hand and smile at you. When Lynn or I finish singing the song, you will hear him trying to sing the song to you. So sweet! He likes to play my hand phone. He knows where I put it. One day I saw him picked up the phone and say “Hello”. When he is hungry, or whenever he sees us eating, he will come over and say “mum mum” to ask for the food. His appetite has gone bigger and becoming easier for me to feed him. The duration taken to finish his meal is getting lesser. Sometimes after finish one bowl of cereal or porridge, he will still ask for more and complain if I’m not giving him more food. I love seeing him eating more. I want him to gain more weight. He has six teeth now. I started to feed him some soft meat to train his chewing skill.
Lynn was a sociable child since she was a baby but not for Hao. However, lately we noticed he is becoming more sociable. He no longer cries when seeing stranger. However, sometimes will still stick close to us, seeking for security. However, after a while, he will be fine willing to be carried by anyone. We went for my secondary friend’s wedding dinner last week and surprisingly, he opened his arm for my friend when my friend wanted to carry him. First time seeing him so easy. My friend carried him away from us, went to other tables to talk with other friends. He did not cry at all. I feel happy to see him out grow from the separation anxiety.
Hao started to show his character and his tantrum too. When he refused to do something, like refuse to lie down when I changed his diaper, he will protest by crying or making noise and kicking his leg. When his cousin sister (my niece) snatches away the toy from his hand, he will shout back at her and try to get back the toy too. He is not as stubborn as Lynn is, but my guess is maybe he has bad temper (like me, Lol).
We always ask Lynn to share and give way to Hao. When time is right, I have to start teaching Hao to share and learn to give respect to Lynn too. Now I am scratching my head to think of his one-year-old birthday celebration.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Oops… mommy so busy. This is Lynn’s birthday celebration about 2 weeks ago. :P
We celebrated Lynn’s birthday with close family members, in the Pizza Hut restaurant. There were about 11 of us with 4 young kids. I booked the party package with them. The place and environment were good. Ample of space for the young kids to run around and play. Lynn and her cousins were having a good time running and playing with the party packs we bought for the kids. Even Hao also wanted to step into the ground to join them. But the food according to hubby was just so so. I was sick that day. Was having high fever and thus hardly eat anything. We saw another group of people also was having birthday celebration for the kids, with KFC. I think that one probably is a better choice. :)
On Monday, Lynn had her birthday celebration at the playschool. First time for her. I was still having high fever and was taking a day off from work. Hubby also was busy at work and thus none of us dropped by the playschool. I hope she won’t feel disappointed. We bought her a 3kg jelly cake. Thanks to the teacher for taking the pictures for us. ^_^
Although turning into three, and Hao is going to be one next month, Lynn is still jealous over her little brother here and non-stop seeking attention from us. But good thing is she loves her brother and they both like to play together. And sometimes, Lynn will bully her brother too by snatching away the toy from his hand. I noticed she is more naughty in my parents house. I suppose she acts to seek attention especially from the grandparents, as my niece is around. My parents help to take care both Lynn and Hao after playschool is over, before we go pick them up after work. So it’s like a mini kindy in their house, full of noise from the kids, shouting, playing and crying. :P
In terms of speech, no doubt that Lynn is very good in talking. She can speak in English (still not very good yet but improving), Mandarin and Cantonese. She speaks English at the playschool, Mandarin and English with us, and Cantonese with my parents. She knows lots of words, by learning from the picture books and from watching those education DVD. She can sing quite a number of songs that she learn from the playschool.
Lynn is an active girl. She likes to run around playing. Nowadays she likes to do pretend play at home with us. Pretending she is like me, doing cooking; pretending that she’s the teacher at the playschool, taking care the kids etc. I always laugh when I see her doing pretend play and always making fun with her about it.
One thing I’m not happy and still having headache is, she’s still like to suck her thumb. Honestly I would not want Hao to pick up this bad habit from her. Whenever I caught her sucking thumb and ask her when is she going to stop doing it, she will just shyly smile back to me. :(
When come to food, her favourite is egg, cheese, butter, raisin, biscuit, sweets. She' is picky over the vegetable. Depends on her mood, sometimes she will ask for vegetables and sometimes she will take it all out from her rice. :( She used to like taking bread, but now I think she’s started getting bored with them.
In terms of her health, I think she’s losing weight. Partly at one time, she falls sick very often. I hope she will outgrow of it and get stronger. Partly also due to her picky eating habit. Sometimes she eats a lot, sometimes don’t know why she eats very little, even though is her favourite dish. Like her father, Lynn is tall, thus make her looks even thinner.
People always says terrible three. Yes, indeed. Me and hubby have to non-stop looking for ways to understand and communicate with her. Most of the time, I know is due to her jealousy. I hope she will outgrow of it soon. Our love for her has not been reduced. In fact, because of Hao, we love her more. At times, I feel sorry to Hao as I have to let him cry while attending to Lynn. She’s a sensitive child. I wish she will be healthy and happy always, and stop sucking thumb! :D
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Warning: This is a very long post. When I was writing this, I amazed by myself that how much detail that I still can remember.
Today is Lynn's birthday. She turns three today. My mom told me, my late grandmother told her that birthday, is a day to remember your mom as she gave birth to you on that day. So today, I am going to write about the birth story of Lynn here (since I had not started blogging back then), while me still can remember all the details in my mind. :)
Lynn's due date was 25 May 2006. Since she’s our first baby, we knew nothing about baby and childbirth. Hubby and I went to attend a pre-natal class, recommended by a friend. It costs us RM400 ++, for 6 sessions x 2 hours for each session (the price increased to > RM600 in the following year). It looks costly but worth going. The pre-natal class covered from pregnancy, to detailed childbirth process, breastfeeding and taking care of newborn. She’s also a lactation consultant. So I get to clear some doubts about breastfeeding from her.
When I went for the routine check up at Week 38, the gynae told me I would deliver at any time. I already have packed the bag to the hospital, getting myself ready for the arrival of the baby. Feeling excited and nervous too. Even though I have learnt about the childbirth, but still it’s first time for me. Everyday I will tell the baby, be good girl when she comes out. Don’t let mommy in pain for too long, don’t be naughty, and come out smoothly. :) Just few months before that, 2 friends of mine had to go for last minute C-sec, as the baby was distress during the delivery process and poo-poo while still inside mommy’s womb. I do not want this happen to me.
May 16, 2006 (Tuesday)
2.30am – I woke up from stomach ache. I went to the toilet. Thought may have eaten something not clean. The pain did not go away. Suddenly, this thought come into my mind – am I having contraction pain? I checked the interval – regular pain at every 5 minutes. Yes, five minutes apart. Alright, so yes it was a contraction pain.
I was kind of worry – is 5 minutes apart too close for stage 1? Am I going to reach stage 2 very fast? Should I wake up hubby now? I quickly go to check all the reading materials that I have – printed from internet, from the pre-natal class, parenting magazine etc, and confirmed that 5 minutes interval is normal for stage 1. I decided not to wake up hubby. People said normally first baby would have longer labour process. I would not want hubby to be sleepy and tired when reaching the time I need his support.
5 minutes interval, seems long and fast – feel the pain last very long and soon after some rest, another contraction pain come again. I went down stair (so that I won’t wake up hubby), and try to find the best position during contraction pain. I tried sitting on the floor with head resting on the sofa, lying down sideway, sitting on the sofa with lots of cushion to support the back, walking etc. And the best position for me – walking. And the worst position? Lying on the back. (Which made me feel so bad while in the hospital as I had to lie down on the bed?)
I was feeling very hungry, looking for some food to replenish my energy. Unfortunately, no food available at home. :( Found some biscuit, but not appetizing to me. I also cooked the Chinese herb tea (十三太保) that my mom bought for me (not say I believe or not believe in it, just try to be good daughter since my mom had bought it for me). It took 3 hours to cook that.
5.30am – The Chinese herb tea was done. I went to take a hot bath, clean my body and my hair. First sight of some blood but water bag still no broke. After coming out from bath, I woke up hubby. Telling him that his daughter want to come out today. :)
Still feeling very hungry. I was very tempted to have a bowl of hot porridge for breakfast. However, at the sane time, I was also worrying that the baby maybe coming out soon. My instinct told me that I should just go to hospital. Maybe I should not take the Chinese herb tea with empty stomach? I throw out everything outside the house, just before I get into the car.
7am (4.5 hours after contraction started) – We off to go to the hospital. As it was a working day, slightly slow traffic but no traffic jam. I sat on a pillow, to avoid dirty the car if the water bag broke. And on the way, I kept on telling the baby, don’t come out first, mommy had not reached the hospital yet. :P
7.30am reached the hospital. After registration, the normal blood pressure and urine test etc, at 8am the nurse put the belt over my stomach to check the baby heart beat and contraction. Waited for quite some time for the gynae to come down to check on me. Was told that the gynae was engaged. Hubby was not allowed to be there. He was waiting for me outside the waiting hall. Still the water bag did not break. And I could feel the contraction become more and more intense, and the pain becoming more and more unbearable.
Finally after a long wait, the gynae came. Wow, I was shocked to hear that I was already 8-9cm dilated! He told me that the baby would come out within 1 hour. When I was pushed into the labour ward, I looked at the clock – close to 9am. Still the water bag did not break. And I could feel the baby had started to ‘push’ herself out.
It was a very small labour ward and cold. The wall clock was facing me directly so I could check the time easily. Hubby went to register himself so that he could come into the labour ward with me. There were two mid wives inside the labour ward. One of them broke the water bag for me in my next contraction. Still no sight of hubby yet. And they kept telling me not to push yet. (Kind of difficult, as during that time each contraction I could feel the baby was ‘pushing’ herself out.) I asked for sitting more upright so that easier for me to push, and hoping that I would feel less pain. No anaesthetic, no oxygen tank was given. However I did not ask for it too (my mind was focus on get the baby out). And no time for me to do so too.
Finally, I saw hubby coming in to the labour ward. Then the mid wife told me, I can push in the next contraction (Oh what a relief to hear that). Soon when the next contraction came, I pushed. Well, was not trained how to push but somehow you just know how to do it. :) In total, after one short and one long push, I could feel the baby was ‘sliding’ out from my body.
My feeling seeing the baby out – Amazing, amazing, and amazing. A new life was born. And I could not believe that I had done it. It was a very touching moment. My eyes were filled with tears actually. It was like – so magical. I looked at the wall clock in front of me – closed to 9.30am. From first contraction pain until baby was born – 7 hours.
After the baby was born, they wrapped her in a towel, and put her on the baby cubicle next to me. Still not over for me yet. They gave me a jap on my thigh, so that the placenta would come out faster. Then the stitching. Gosh, it was even more pain than giving birth! The mid wife told me that anaesthetic was given to me and there were in total three layers that she needed to stitch, being the outer layer is the most pain one. Oh yes hubby was being required to wait outside after the baby was out.
I doubt the anaesthetic was working. The whole stitching lasted more than 30 minutes. It was even more unbearable than the contraction pain. Finally the stitches were done. I was given a hot drink and some biscuit to eat, before I get to hold my newborn.
I still could not believe that I had delivered a baby. :) They had cleaned and weighted her – 2.67kg. Holding her in my arm, admiring her face, soon she cried looking for my breast. The nurse taught me how to breastfeed her. She did not suck for too long. Very soon, she fell asleep.