If I have a chance to go back...

If I have a chance to go back,

• will I still go to the same company to work?
• will I still meeting same people?
• will I still want to get married?
• will I marry to the same man?
• will I still want to have my own children?
• will I still want to have more than 1 child?
• will I still make the same decision?

What will be my life if

• I go to different company to work?
• I did not get married?
• I married to a different man?
• I do not give birth?

I think no matter how, there will always be time where we are not happy, and we cannot escape to have no regrets in our life. Just like stock market, life is full of ups and downs. There are happy moments, sad moments, there are meants to have disappointment, regrets, dissatisfaction. We have to learn to deal with all these emotions throughout our whole life.

Jaundice

When Lynn was still a baby, she got prolonged jaundice until she was about 4 months old (if I remember correctly). She had gone through the photo-theraphy twice within first month of age, and even had taken the ultrasound for her liver. During that period, she had gone through numerous blood test (until it leaves a mark on her hand!) and were given multivitamin and iron supplement for it. Each time I take her to the hospital, I feel so sorry for her that she had to undergo all these despite she was just a few months old baby. She also gone through the audio test to make sure her hearing has not been affected by the high bilirubin level during the first month of life. One good thing about government hospital is they make sure the baby is healthy before they stop seeing you.

After first experience with Lynn on the jaundice, I give extra care to Zhe Hao to make sure same mistaken would not repeat twice (Lynn had to go through the photo-theraphy during first week of life is due to underfeeding. She just refused to wake up for milk.) Zhe Hao on the other hand eat mor than his sister. In fact, towards the end of the confinement month, he had increased his milk intake tremendously - almost every hour he will demand for milk until I become so tired and so scare of nursing him. However Hao still cannot run away from not having jaundice.

We first notice the yellow towards the end of first week. Then it subsided about more than 1 week later. However in the beginning of the 4th week, we noticed the yellow come back again. I started to worry and wonder why. Zhe Hao had been eating well, sleeping well, and had enough wet diapers for the day. His stool was normal, he was active and healthy. And he got good weight gain. So that make me less worry. After 1 month, I took him to the clinic. There the nurse and doctor advised me to take him to the hospital to check for the jaundice. Following their advice, I brought Hao back to HUKM. To avoid long wait at the emergency, I was being directed to go to the HUKM Premier Clinic in Taman Tasik Selatan. As usual, blood test as well as urine test must be taken. Hao is diagnosed with prolonged jaundice. However the bilirubin level is not high enough for him to go through the photo-theraphy (phew!) but he is still under the observation of the doctor for the prolonged jaundice. Another blood test was taken on that day and another urine sample needed too (due to the last results show that the urine sample had been contaminated).

The second blood test results show some improve on the bilirubin level, but there are 2 readings from the liver panel that are not good. This time the doctor from the HUKM Premier Clinic refers us back to the HUKM Paediatric Clinic.

Hao took his 3rd blood test during the subsequent appointment in HUKM on August 13. Again, the same 2 readings from the livel panel still not good. No further test recommended at the moment. The next appointment is one month later on Sept 10 where another blood test will be taken during that day before seeing the doctor. I do hope Hao is fine and does not need to go through what his sister had gone through.

I have read that if the baby are breastfed, and the baby is active and healthy, having prolonged jaundice for few months is normal and give no harm to the brain. I'm glad that Hao is a fully breastfed baby. Once I was thinking of giving up breastfeeding him as he is eating too much, too frequent and make me so tiring. Luckily I did not stop at that point. Now with the jaundice, it makes me more determine to continue breastfeeding.

Hao at 6 weeks old: -
Weight: 5.8kg (birth: 3.67kg, 1 month: 5.1kg)
Height: 61cm (birth: 52.5cm, 1 month: 58cm)

Lynn become a baby

After the birth of the baby boy, Lynn has been observing how we are taking care of the baby. Example she saw that her little brother is wearing diaper, she has requested to wear diaper too during the day even though she is already potty train. At times, she even pee on the floor (too late to go to potty) or sometimes she even pass motion on her pant. Of course after few times I'll become crazy and mad at her, for giving me extra work to clean her up while I'm already not having enough time for everything.

She also has almost become a cry baby too. She won't get jealous to her little brother, but she becomes more demanding for our attention on her. She will cry for very little thing, example want us to get her the water bottle even though it's just less than a feet away from her, want me to feed her the milk like the way I hold Hao when nursing him etc. And she become very demanding when only me, Hao and her at home. She will be more good girl with her papa around (she's more scare to her papa but not me even though I never pamper her). I think it's very true that people always said "the children are always bully the mother".

However there is one thing I'm happy about is - finally Lynn can sleep without my accompaniment. Yay!

Hao - 1 month old

We celebrated Zhe Hao's fullmoon celebration on July 27, 2008 (Sunday). There is no party inviting friends, just a dinner with all family members on both side. For those relatives and friends who come visiting during the confinement month, we gave them the pre-ordered fullmoon package from the fullmoon specialty shop as a token of thanks and appreciation.

This time, I feel the confinement month as if very short. I will definitely miss the time with the confinement lady around as I can have as much of rest as I want, without worrying about taking care of the 2 kids. We gave a big ang pow to the confinement lady (even though I'm not too happy with the food that she cooks) for her excellent service (taking care of our food, laundry, clean the house and help take care of Lynn too) during the month.

Oh yes, forgot to include this earlier: -
Weight: 5.1kg (birth weight 3.67kg)
Height: 58cm (at birth 52.5cm)

Taking care 2 kids

It has been almost a month since I last blog. Well, I think you should have guessed it. The confinement lady left after baby fullmoon, so now I have to take care 2 kids by myself when hubby is off to work. Really does not have much time for myself until both kids have slept at night. I need to bathe both kids, nurse the baby, prepare food for Lynn, do the laundery, food for myself etc. Don't even have much time to rest also. Sometimes after nursing Hao, time to prepare food for Lynn. After settle down Lynn, time to nurse Hao again. Sometimes I don't even manage to cook a proper lunch or dinner for myself. Very difficult to have a fixed time for breakfast, lunch and dinner, not to mention the lunch/dinner can take up to more than 1 hour, just because baby crying during the meal. By the time both kids have slept at night, I will become so tired and sleepy already. Feel like becoming a superwomen. :)