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Friday, January 15, 2010

Not so naive anymore

It is very interesting to see how a child grows. A lots of time, I'm amazed by the nature, like no one teach them (I mean the kids), but they just become like this. Being the youngest in the family, and constantly being bullied by my niece and also sometimes by Lynn in the past, Hao has become very protective. Whenever my niece get near him, he will shout at her, giving warning "don't come closer!" as he knows that she will snatch the toys from his hand. And with Lynn, we have been keep on telling Lynn don't snatch, but ask from Hao. She did change trying to ask Hao to give her nowadays, but Hao is also getting smarter, he won't give the toy to her easily anymore. He knows Lynn wants the toy and he "purposely" does not want to give her. Hahahaha! See, what you sow is what you reap. :D This is what I told Lynn "You see, last time you refused to share the toy with didi, so didi learn from you and refuse to share the toy with you now." When I told Lynn in the past, definitely she could not understand what I mean about that. Until now when Hao does the same thing to she. Well, it's just the matter of time for Hao to learn to share.

Nowadays Hao knows how to get our attention. He will call us "papa papa", "mama mama" all the time. Asking us to carry him, sit on our lap, want us to play with him etc. Sometimes, when Hao is sitting on one side of my lap, and Lynn come over to sit on the other side, Hao will complain and try to push Lynn away! My mom even told me that one day Hao tried to push Lynn away because Lynn refused to let him step out of my parents house. But at home, they will still play together. And very often Lynn will come and tell me "mama, didi refuse to give me toy"; "mama, you see didi take this to play"; "mama, didi ...... "; "mama, didi...... ". :D

In terms of food, whatever food that Lynn is eating, Hao wants a share as well. In fact, he's eating more than Lynn. Cheese, ice cream, vitagen, yogurt, juice etc you name it, all are their favorite. Every weekend, they will come to me asking for food almost every hourly. Hao started to choose what he wants to eat. If he does not want to eat that food, he will shake his head. He will point to the food telling you he wants more. He will point at the fridge and ask me to open for him to take food. He can finish the whole cup of fruit juice within 5 minutes but take half a day to finish a cup of plain water.

When I am washing dishes in the kitchen, he will bring a stool, climb on it and see me washing. And then stretch his hand over the running water, or the wet basin to play with the water. Exactly like Lynn last time!

Hao likes to imitate Lynn a lot. Whatever Lynn shows us, Hao will imitate also. Sounds like kiasu hor. Hahahaha! But sometimes this is good. :) Like Hao used to complain whenever I wash his hair, as I would just shower the water right from his head while he's in the standing position. So he will complain when the water runs into his eye. But not so anymore after he saw that Lynn has no complain about it! I used to shower both kids together at the same time. Lynn can bath herself, and put on her own clothes. So basically I just need to attend Hao. One day when I was getting them ready to bath, Lynn told me "Mama, boy and girl cannot bath together." I'm very surprised with that sentence actually and I did not expect she will say something like that. I did not ask her but I suppose must be the teacher from the school told her that. Hahaha! I replied her "Other boys cannot, but didi can." Hahahahaha! When I first bathed them together, Hao got curious over Lynn's body and stretched his hand over wanted to touch her. And immediately Lynn shouted "Don't touch jie jie! " Hahahaha!

I have no problem taking care the basic needs of 2 kids. But when come to educate them, to love each other, to share with each other, definitely it's a much more challenging job. However at this stage, I don't want to think too much about that. I think it's just the matter of time for them to learn. I can see that Lynn is learning and she definitely loves the didi more then the didi loves her. So it's just the matter of time for Hao to understand about siblings love and we just have to continue telling the right thing to them. Despite Hao is getting mischievous, I have not become annoyed yet and instead, I enjoy myself very much to have them around me. It is very interesting to see how the 2 kids with different character, interacting with each others, and with people around them.


Uncle Lee said...

Hello Chee Yee, The most wonderful of our lives is when we have kids.
The toughest part of our lives is bring them be good and responsible citizens.

I have been here 22 years and tell all our new immigrant friends to watch their kids closely.
Never to let go the rope too far.
Kids are very good at taking advantage of parents.
Once they discover your weakness, they will know how to tackle you.

We have here many friends with young as well teenage, as well grown up College going kids and those that have graduated.

Only yesterday my wife and I heard from a mother how her only child, a grown up boy of 22 has failed her expectations.
He did not even pass his High school, and today unable to get a proper job, and she seeing all her friend's children going to, or graduating from Universities.

And she laments, "where did I go wrong"?
My wife and I know. The answer is like my three days ago posting. She was blinded by love of her child and he got away. Its now too late.

You have fun and keep well, Lee.

Olive said...

I definitely echo your thoughts. Parenting is indeed the most challenging thing. I'm learning everyday from the kids...It's not easy but hope that all will turn out fine. U just reminded me...My boy used to love playing with running water in the wet basin too :)

cheeyee said...

Uncle Lee - You are absolutely right. It's a tough job to raise the kids to be good and responsible. This make me stop to have number 3. :)

You are right that we have to watch them closely and not let go the rope too far. Sometimes I do ask myself am I spoiling them? But at the same time, I also try not to say too many "No" to them. It is not difficult to set a boundary but it is not easy to get people around you to agree and give corporation to you. Kids are smart and they know what they can ask from who. You got a very good post there and it does remind me not to be a mom blinded with love. :)

Olive - Yeah, parenting is like a live-long learning thing to me. It's never ending. One thing solve, next thing comes up. :)

Hahaha I suppose all kids are same - love playing with the water! :)

Anonymous said...

It's a good thing that you're enjoying your motherhood. Adrian is so trying, and I just feel like I want out of it and wun give a second thought!

Alice Law said...

Hao is such a cute pie! I wish Juan would grow up like Lynn, loving her little brother a little bit more!

Me and my hubby really enjoy our parenthood, we learned a lot from our kids and they really cheer up our life (ofcourse sometimes would really get into our nerves)!

smallkucing said...

Yup kids are very fast at catching our weak point. Sometimes I am at lost too at when to reprimand him.

cheeyee said...

Cleffairy - Yup, try to enjoy as much as I can. The kids only grow once. :)

Alice Law - Don't worry, I'm sure Juan Juan will love her bro more and more. :)

Smallkucing - Hahaha... yeah, totally understand that. And kids like to test our patient. :)

Alice Phua said...

Cheeyee, I agreee with your reply to Uncle Lee about "It is not difficult to set a boundary but it is not easy to get people around you to agree and give corporation to you. Kids are smart and they know what they can ask from who." This is one of my biggest challenge I'm facing with my in-laws with whom I'm staying with right now. My in-laws and I have quarreled because of this. My in-laws are on the lenient side becos they believe children should not be left crying for long. So when my son meragam and cry for no valid reasons or when I refused him something, he will cry. THen my in-laws will step in to comfort him. His crying subsided, but next time when I refuses him something, the same cycle happens, until one day I got so fed up, the quarrel happened. I told them to stop entertaining his cryings, instead they turned the table around and accused that i changed his diaper too slowly and let him watch DVD that cause him to meragam. So from that day onwards, whenever my son cried for any other reason other than changing diapers and DVD, I will lash out at my son, but indirectly pointing at them. They kept quiet, pretending like the quarrel about my son never happened. Yes, I may sound like a rude daughter-in-law, but I don't care anymore - i would rather spoil my relationship with my in-laws than to spoil my own son!

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