Year 2010 finally has over. It is not a very good year for me, but not the worst. I have been struggling a lot, learning a lot, self healing a lot, and holding a lot of guilt too. Forgive and let go, something sounds so easy and yet so hard to do. Instead, more grudge is building up.
I'm glad that, whenever I was feeling down, there are people around me who cheer me up and give me support, made me fee better, made me feel I'm not alone. I lost some friendships in year 2010, but I also made some new friends and their friendships are invaluable.
In year 2010 too, I pick up back reading, something that I love to do when I was very young, but did not do much since I become a parent. I find that reading helps me to de-stress and made me feel calmer. And because of it too, I come across books with spiritual content and get to know more about God, which as a results made me ponder a lot. I am a Buddhist actually. However ever since my grandmother passed away more than 10 years ago, plus hb is not a Buddhist, I seldom go to Buddhist temple anymore.
In year 2011, one of the things that I wish to achieve is forgiving and letting go on some issues that keep on happening. I have done it before but doing it again is actually becoming harder as there is greater resentment and disappointment now. Since the adjustments that I have made so far do not made me feel less unhappy, I hope by forgiving and letting go will make me feel better, and reduce the self healing time.
As for the kids, I achieved only part of the things that I want to do with them for year 2010. I hope to cover more in year 2011. I hope I will have more energy to spend more time with the kids, and be more patient with them.
Year 2011 - another mission begin.
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