Big Sister

Lynn and Hao, when Hao was 6 months old.

Few weeks back, I was reading some old post dated 2 years ago, the time when Hao was just born. During that time, Lynn gave us lots of headache due to the jealousy over the brother. I did not and I could not blame her. She was merely 2 years old at that time and she is the first born. She was so used to having full attention from all of us. And now she had to learn to share. So what have she learn over the past 2 years?

The very first thing I trained her was to sleep by herself. I was the one used to put Lynn to bed. Actually was more on she needed me to be there with her before she fall asleep. She has her own mattress. I used to sleep beside her until she had fallen asleep. She would cry if I left her before she had fallen asleep. She also rejected hb to get her to sleep. When Hao was born, I was still accompany her to sleep, but not on her bed. She would sleep on her bed, while me on my bed in the same room. Not long after that, I let her fall asleep by herself. I would leave the room after I had done with nursing Hao. To unpack and pack Lynn's bag for next day, to clean and sterilize the breast pump and bottles for next day, store and milk according to date etc. I was glad that she did not make much fuss about it and the whole process went on very smoothly. Today, she would give us good night kiss and go to bed together with Hao. As for Hao, as long as I have spent some time with him on the bed, he never needs me to accompany him until he has fallen asleep. I used to let him sleep on my bed, and I would carry him to his crib later when I sleep. Now after we have switched him to sleep on the floor next to our bed, maybe he used to see Lynn sleep by herself on the floor also, I never have issue asking him to go to his own mattress to sleep after finish nursing him on my bed. He would obediently get down from my bed and go sleep on his mattress with his bolster. And if I did not remind them to sleep, they could continue playing after I step out of the room. Yes, they like to play. :D

Lynn was feeding Hao ice cream. :D

Whenever we dine out, sometimes we would share our food with both of them, sometimes we would order another set and let both of them share. As for the drink, we usually let both of them share one drink. And Lynn would not finish the whole cup. After she drank some, she would go over to Hao and offered him the drink. Whenever she asked for food at home, she would take some for Hao also. Let say for yogurt, she would take 2 spoons, one for her and one for Hao. At the beginning, before Hao learn how to self feed, Lynn would feed Hao to eat. But, after she finish feeding Hao and wanted to eat her own yogurt, Hao would cry for her share of yogurt too! LOL! Poor Lynn. To avoid that, usually I would feed Hao so that Lynn could eat together with Hao at the same time. :) When they share the ice cream, Lynn would take turn to feed Hao and herself the ice cream. One spoon for Hao, one spoon for herself, until all ice cream finished. She hardly rejects sharing food with Hao. She would just ask for more! Hahahaha! Just one thing, they will never let mommy to eat alone! They will always want to eat the food from my plate!

She learns to play together with the brother, including sharing the toys. And she enjoys playing with him. Why? Because this little boy listens to whatever she said! LOL! She taught Hao to sing song; she taught him to dance; she taught him to somersault (only on our bed and not on the floor); she taught him how to play the toy etc. Basically Hao would just follow Lynn for everything. Of course if Lynn did something naughty Hao would follow also. So have to keep an eye on what they are doing.

They learn to "share" papa and mama. 1 year ago, whenever I let Lynn or Hao sit on my lap, the other one would get jealous and sure come to me and asked for sitting on my lap as well. Now, when Lynn or Hao sits on my lap, they would make space and call the other one to come over to sit on my lap as well. So one sits on the left; and one sits on the right. :) Papa likes to play with them carrying them on his back. They would take turn to be on papa's back. Instead of saying "me me me", they would say "my turn, your turn". They stop fighting for papa and mama anymore. :)

Lynn loves to play the role to take care Hao. Whatever I asked her to do, let say go take Hao's water bottle, take Hao's clothes for change, take Hao's handkerchief etc, she would happily do it for me. She would also take Hao to the potty or toilet, take off his pant, help him to wear back his pant, comb his hair, serve him milk, wear his socks for him etc. She's my little helper when come to taking care of Hao. ^_^

I would say from a jealous sister, Lynn has become a caring sister. Sometimes she would still fight with him though. For example when Hao was not listen to her that he should not play the remote control; when Hao took away her color pencils when she was coloring; when Hao took away her school books. Does Hao like Lynn? I think so. One day, while I was taking my shower, I heard some quarrels and Lynn was crying came look for me in the bathroom.

Lynn: Mama, didi beat me.
Me: Why didi beat you?
Lynn: Because didi want to eat the cereal, and I said cannot.

Right before I took my shower, Lynn did ask me if she can eat the cereal. As it was very close to dinner time, I rejected her. Hao must be seeing the cereal and wanted to eat too. And Lynn knew that I won't allow it. So she disallowed Hao to eat the cereal too.

Hb went to check Hao and scolded him for beating Lynn. Hao came up to look for me too. So now 2 crying kids outside the bathroom! Hao cried because papa scolded him. 

Lynn: (now got papa back her up, she talked loudly to Hao) Cannot beat Jie jie!
Hao: (still crying) Mama.... mama.....
Lynn: Say sorry to jie jie.
Hao: (still crying) Mama.... mama.....     
Lynn: Say sorry to jie jie.
Hao: No! Mama.... mama.....

Finally I finished taking my shower.

Me: Hao, cannot beat jie jie. Say sorry.
Hao: (Crying) Mama... mama.....
Me: Say sorry to jie jie.
Hao: (Crying) Mama... mama.....
Me: (In a very firm voice) Say sorry to jie jie.

I insisted that he should say sorry to Lynn. But he just refused and was still crying there. I get annoyed and scolded him for crying so long and yet it is him who beat Lynn. Guess what? He turned to Lynn and still crying, saying "jie jie.... jie jie.... "; asking comfort from Lynn! Hahahahahaha! Just few minutes earlier he was angry with Lynn because Lynn disallowed him to eat the cereal. And now he seeks comfort from Lynn because mama scolded him! And what was Lynn's reaction? She gently pats his head! She was not angry at him now! LOL!

Lynn: It's ok. Jie jie sayang. Why you beat jie jie?
Me: Say sorry to jie jie and sayang jie jie.
Hao: (Hugging Lynn) Sorry jie jie.

It's a nice feeling seeing both of them becoming more loving to each other. Two weeks ago when we had problem with the cars, we were so glad that we have 2 kids to entertain each other instead of come bugging us for carry or whatever! Of course they are still not perfect yet. Hao has to learn to listen to Lynn when Lynn reprimands him for doing something not right. And also learn to share and be more caring to Lynn. Nowadays whenever Lynn say something, he will sure say "No!" back to Lynn. LOL! And Lynn also has to learn to talk to Hao in a more gentle way, when Hao is doing something not right. I feel so blessed having both of them with me. ^_^