Unconditional love

There is this powerful and accurate quote from Choices and Illusions that I would like to share with everyone:

"When you forgive, you essentially undo the ability to blame. If there is nothing to blame, then you are in charge of your response to outside stimuli. There is less room for anger without blame. There is less to fear when your 're empowered."

The concept of giving up blame leads to a feeling of unconditional love for others. This is an important way to feel more like you are a contributing member of the human race. You begin to feel like you fit into the human family. You feel that you are important to the world, and the world returns the favor, by allowing you to experience being connected to others. You have joined the human family. You belong to it and it belongs to you.

Is it really cheaper?

When someone ask me what brand of the formula milk that Hao is taking and I said he's solely on breast milk, most of the people will respond "Wah, can save a lot leh." Well, does it really can save a lot with breastfeeding? I doubt it. Actually there's quite a number of 'hidden cost' that probably only us who is fully breastfeeding the baby will know. :)

• Nursing pad - For those good brand like Medela, it costs about RM1 per piece. Even the cheaper brand like Tollyjoy will cost about RM0.50 per piece. We have to use this as long as we are still breastfeeding to prevent your shirt to get wet if the milk is leaking.
• Storage bottle or storage bag - I have about 20 milk bottles in my freezer. However it is not enough for me so I have to invest on storage bag that costs about RM0.50 per bag.
• Nursing bra - This is mostly for when I'm out with the baby, so that I can nurse him easily in the public.
• Breast care cream
• Breast pump - This is needed especially for a working mum like me. A good breast pump even just a simple manual one side pump will cost few hundreds.
  
• Food warmer - Some people may invest in food warmer to heat up the storage breast milk, but not me. We use the 'traditional' way - just place the milk bottle in a cup filled with hot water. It takes less than 5 minutes to heat up the milk. :)
• Supplements - Since all the nutrients from our body will go into the milk, we have to make sure our body have enough nutrients for ourselves too. I'm also taking domperidone to stimulate more milk (this is not cheap at all. It costs about RM0.50 per pill and I have to take 6 per day. )
  
• Nutrient food - We will search for all sort of foods that will boost up our milk supply, like fish, papaya, fenugreek etc.
  

And most important for all is the time and heart! It needs a lots of persistent and patient to go for fully breastfeeding. I have to sacrifice my lunch time to express the milk for Hao in the office. And need to ask someone to pack the lunch for me. And not to mention everywhere I go I need to take Hao with me. If not, I have to pump out the milk for him. All these are priceless! And for all the moms who are breastfeeding the child, the main purpose is not to save money, but want to give the best to the child!

Another milestone achieved

This is a backdated post.

Date: 24 November 2008

As usual, I went to pick up Zhe Hao after work. However this week will be exceptional early as we have to pick up Lynn from the child care center too. Usually it's my father to go pick up Lynn on his way back home from work. But this week my parents have gone for holiday, so we have to pick up Lynn ourselves.

Usually there is no parking space available at the babysitter's house, so we do not normally stop by for long. Just pick up the boy and then we will leave. But since I was early, I had to wait for the babysitter to change Hao into his pyjamas. The babysitter told me that Hao now can hold the milk bottle by himself. What? Did I hear it wrongly? Zhe Hao can hold milk bottle by himself approaching 5 months old?! Wuahahaha... though I have guessed that for quite a while (Hao used to put his hand on my chest while I feed him in lying down position, just like the position of holding milk bottle) but I never expect he really did it. Well done, Hao!

A New Day

Come across this the other day and thought of want to share it with everyone.

This is the beginning of a new day. I have been given this day to use
as I will. I can waste it or use it for good. What I do today is
important because I'm exchanging a day of my life for it. When tomorrow
comes, this day will be gone forever leaving in it's place whatever I
have traded it for. I pledge to myself that it shall be ...... Gain, not
loss. Good, not evil. Success, not failure, in order that I shall not
regret the price I paid for this day!


When I was younger and believed that money made the world go 'round I
hung a quotation very much like this one only it was entitled, "If I
Had A Bank." This reminded me daily of how many seconds there are in a
day and coached me to imagine each one as worth at least one dollar. As
such, each morning I awoke with 86,400 seconds (dollars) in credit and
if I did not invest them wisely at the end of the day the credit was
cancelled.


Investment--I have learned that money is not that important and the best
investment is in what you do to help others. The irony is the more you
help others the more good comes to you. It is indeed a perfect example
of the biblical statement, "What you sow is what you reap."


This short article really has inspired me a lot, especially this year is a very challenging and tough year for me. I have been changing, and adapting to new situation, new environment continuously. And I'm grateful to those people to give concerns and helping hand when I need it.

Extracting orange juice?

Everyday during lunch and after office hours, I will need to do my daily 'homework' - to express milk for the boy. Most of the colleague in the office know that I'm breastfeeding the baby. Few days back as usual, after finishing the 'homework' I was cleaning the breast pump in the office pantry. Before the office was relocated, I used to do it in the Ladies toilet. We used to have our own toilet just for the staffs here. There are cleaners come to wash the toilet every morning so it was well kept. However after we have relocated to new place, we no longer have our own 'private' toilet anymore. We have to share the public toilet with another company on the same floor.

So while I was still cleaning up the breast pump, a male colleague bumped into me. He saw me do the washing and asked me what is the thing.

He: Hey, what is that for? Making tea?
Me: Err... nope.
He: Extracting orange juice?
Me: Hehe... no lar. *laughing at him* (I actually can't help myself from not laughing after hearing this. Lol)
He: Oh.
Me: Err... this is actually for the milk for my boy. hehehe

Apparently he never see a breast pump before and he thought we should be using electrical one. Well, he's a married man but no kids yet. :)

Developing comfort sucking

Recently I have to spend more and more time nursing Hao. From half an hour, to one hour and sometimes even more than 1 hour! Especially towards the end of the day. I noticed Hao has started developing comfort sucking habit.

When Lynn was still a baby, she can't sleep without me. She started comfort sucking to sleep since she was born. Most of the time gone due to this. And she had developing a habit must sleep with me. Else she can't sleep. I have spent lots of effort to make her to able to sleep without me around. In the past, when I was not around, she will cry looking for me. And eventually fall asleep getting tired after crying. I certainly would not like this to happen to Hao. This will make hubby getting headache to get the kids to bed if I'm not around. Hao does not seems to be too attach to me yet to be able to fall asleep so I certainly would not want him to have to comfort sucking habit to

A Sweet Birthday

Today seems just like another ordinary day for me. Morning took some time off to take Zhe Hao for his scheduled check-up. Then go to work after that. As usual, work is busy. Discussions, meetings etc. filling up the days.

Something unexpected coming up in the afternoon. Hubby bought me a piece of birthday cake! Well he's not the very romantic kind to me (but at times he will do something which surprise me too). He's so sweet! Suddenly all the work pressure, date line, tasks have been put aside. Enjoying the sweet moment I seldom get.

This is probably the sweetest birthday I ever had. :)

Well, it's another working late day. We only get to eat the cake at night as our dinner. ^_^

Hao @ 4th months check up

Brought Hao for his scheduled 4th month check-up this morning. In fact, he's approaching 4.5 months now. For Hao, we are taking him to the government clinic (Klinik Ibu mengandung dan Kanak-kanak) for his jap. This is my first experience with the government clinic though we have been visiting government hospital all the while (Hao next scheduled check-up with HUKM is end of next month).

As usual, you have to expect long wait in the government clinic. In order to be able to get there earlier, I stayed overnight at my parent's house the night before as it is nearer to the clinic. So hubby was alone at home last night. (Well, as long as he got his PC with Internet access, he won't be boring being alone at home. :p)

I was anxious to know what is Hao's current weight. He has not been putting on weight during his last month check-up. After knowing that he has put on about 1kg this month, I feel relief. The new babysitter is still not very used to fully b/fed baby yet. She always very nervous when approaching milk time. She said 10 mins before the milk time, Hao will start screaming already. it has been several times that she has asked me when do I plan to stop b/feeding. Well I have to admit that the supply can hardly match with the demand nowadays. However I still have not thought of stopping yet. I still remember last time right after I stop b/feeding Lynn, she started to fall sick. Just 2 more months after Hao started on the semi-solids, the b/feeding part will be become easier. So I just have to hang on for a while more.

Hao @ 4.5 months
Weight: 7.1kg
Height: 67.5cm

Lynn's progress in Child care

It has been one month since Lynn started going to the child care center. Early last week, Lynn was not feeling well. She had some mild fever on Sunday night. So on Monday, I called up the child care to make sure if she's alright. And had a short conversation with teacher Stacy there over the phone to find out more about Lynn. Here are the findings: -

• She did not cry for papa or mama (thumb up for this. :P)
• She will go to the toilet herself when she needs to pass motion
• She uses the toilet instead of potty (at home, she's using the potty)
• She drinks very little water (oh girl, you need to drink more water)
• She does not talk to the teachers there (I wonder why)
• She talks to other children in Mandarin (the medium used in the child care is English)
• She will follow the teacher's instructions according to her mood (as expected)
• Accidents of wetting the bed when taking afternoon nap had happened quite a number of times (strange this does not happen at home during the weekend though). So the teacher will take her to the toilet in the middle of the nap

It is interesting and surprise to me that Lynn does not talk to the teachers there. Lynn is a sociable child since she was a baby. So is that means she did not ask or demand for anything? At home, she always ask for biscuit, candies etc. And even if Lynn does not talk in English in the child care center, we do notice that Lynn uses more English words when talking to us (we are trying to talk solely in English to her too). Just like yesterday morning, she started to talk in sentence to us "Di Di go home".