Thanks for all the comments on whether I should continue breastfeeding Hao or not. Actually the night after I had published the post, while I was nursing the boy to bed, as usual I was admiring his face. I always like to see him having his milk with his both eyes closed, enjoying all the comforting moments that he is having. This is the time where I will automatically put my hand gently touching his head and his body. Amongst all breastfeeding sessions, the last feed for the day is my favourite and feel we are at the closest. At that moment, I realized that if I ever stop breastfeeding him, this would be the moment where I will surely miss the most. You do not get to see this if he is on his milk bottle. Then I started to ask myself - am I really want to stop breastfeeding him after he has reached 1 year old? I know the answer will be no.
Although hubby would like to have one more child, but I'm not in favour of the idea of having one more baby. Most probably, Hao will be my last baby. I felt regret and missing something when I stopped breastfeeding Lynn 2 years ago. During that time, we would like to get ready for the second child. (My body only resume the monthly menstrual cycle after I had stopped breastfeeding.) Thinking about that, I would not want to make the same mistake again. If I not going to have another child, I will not be able to enjoy the bonding moments with the kid anymore.
Hao is a different baby compared to Lynn. In some degree, he can be by himself. In certain time he will look for me and will not stop crying or complaining until I hold him. Sometimes he will let me go after he has enough milk. Sometimes he would not want to let me go even after almost 1 hour of comfort sucking. Even though we have planned for second child, but he came earlier than our plan. (We did not expect able to conceive at such short time.) His arrival has a special meaning to me. He comes to this world for a special mission.
My dear Hao, alright mommy will continue to breast-feed you, until you are ready for self-weaning. You are mommy's strong boy. Mommy loves you!